How To Text A Girl You Just Met – Master Guide

How To Text A Girl You Just Met

Hey fellas, today I’m going to give you a practical, easy to follow guide on how to text a girl you just met.  This guide has helped many of my friends, work colleagues and thousands online, so i hope it really benefits you as well

I’m also going to give you a bunch of extras for free to make sure you get this part of your dating life handled.

Side Note: This article is the raw truth about how to text a girl you just met. If you apply these principles, I guarantee your texting game will skyrocket.

what to text a girl to start a conversation

How To Text A Girl You Just Met – The TRUTH!

Believe it or not, getting a gals number is only the beginning. In fact, texting is probably harder than getting the number. When you’re with her in person, you can fully express your personality and  demonstrate good emotions and energy. Over text, not so much.

In fact, studies have shown that women misinterpret men’s text a large majority of the time. This is due to a number or reasons, such as mood, emotion and more frequently, men just not knowing how to text. Most guys keep bombarding women with explicit and over sexual text messages. The rest of the guys just send generic ‘How are you’ messages.

This is the wrong way to text and 95% of the time it will lead to the woman going silent. How to text a girl you just met is simple once you follow certain principles and apply them to each message.

Real Talk On Texting Girls

Now look, there is no 100% full-proof method to getting every single girl to text you back. That isn’t going to happen. Don’t believe all the hype you hear online. There are a number of reasons why a girl wont text you back. A good portion of those reasons are out of your control and down to the woman, so don’t take it personally.

What we can do however is boost the odds of her responding by understanding the dynamics and psychology of the woman and the fundamentals of text game.

By the end of this article, you should have solid foundation to texting girls. My main bit of advice is to take action on these tips and don’t be afraid to mess up. Texting in itself is an art form, but with enough practice, you’ll nail it, no problem.

Things you’ll learn

  • How to reduce flakes
  • Getting the number
  • Case studies
  • How to text a girl you just met BONUS Tips

flirty questions to ask a girl

Texting Girls – Flakey Numbers

Alright fellas, now the first thing you must be aware is that a girl is less likely to flake on you if you have a solid initial interaction.

If the initial interaction was a bit weird, you never connected with her, or you were stuck in your head, expect the number to be a bit more flakey.

If the interaction was more positive and there was a ton of connection, chemistry and humor, then expect the number to be solid and for her to respond.

Ironically, sometimes the opposite can happen, although this is to a much lesser extent.

if you want to know how to get a solid number, check out our article on the subject.

Two quick points i would like to pull from that article however are the following.

  • Ask for the number on a high point
  • Ask for the number anyway if the interaction is bad just for practice.

A girl is most likely to give you her number when she is experiencing positive emotions, especially when they are being caused by you. For example, you’re making her laugh, you’re connecting, etc. If you’re not sure how to ask for the number, use the following sentence

“Hey, you seem really cool. Let’s keep in contact.”

Of course, there are many ways to ask for the number, but this works really well.


Well, you’ve both been having a good interaction and she’s feeling positive emotions. Why would she not want to give YOU, the person making her feel all that goodness, her number?

Test it for yourself. You can thank me later.

With regards to my second point, you want to always ask for the number even if the interaction is bad. The reason for this is because you need to become numb when asking women for their digits. That way when you’re chatting up a girl you really want to keep in contact with, it’s not this massive big deal that you usually make it out to be.

how to text a girl you just met flakey numbers

How To Text A Girl You Just Met –  Texting Anxiety

Yes, this is a thing. Its probably more  of an ego issue to be honest. Sometimes you’re not going to want to text the girl because you cant take the fact that she may not respond to your message. In order to protect your ego, you don’t text her at all.

We’ve all been there.

You text and she doesn’t respond. It happens man. Point is, you can’t let this fear stop you from following through on new girls…..or even old girls for that matter.

Send the text and if you do get rejected and butthurt, it’s probably a good thing. It will toughen you up in the long run.

Texting Girls – Emotional Neediness

When you do send the text, stop being so damn needy and emotional when she doesn’t text back straight away.

Honestly, I’ve had girls text me back instantly and ive also had some girls text me back days later. Point is, girls forget. They have other stuff going on and on top of that, you’re not that important to them. She’s just met you and she doesn’t really know who you are. Do you really think she’s gonna drop everything in her life for a guy she barely knows? Hell no.

Would you?

Also, remember she’s most likely being messaged by a ton of other guys.

Point is, play it kool and do not fall into that needy trap.

If you do, its a clear sign you are not picking up enough women, which brings on to my next point.

texting girls

The Abundant Mindset

You want to have an abundant mindset when texting. What do I mean by this? Well, you want to get to a point where your emotions are no longer going up and down when she responds or doesn’t respond.

For example, She texts you back and you feel happy……..or………She doesn’t text you back and you feel like crap.

You can’t let any woman dictate your emotions. You need to be emotionally in control and neutral when playing this game.

The easiest way to do this is to be texting multiple women whilst still collecting numbers from other girls. If you’re also going on plenty of dates, that helps also.

If you’re not currently dating multiple women, then just stick to chatting up and collecting more numbers.

The point is…Stop basing your damn happiness on a girls response. She doesn’t want that and you shouldn’t either.

Keep meeting women and you’ll naturally develop this mindset. You want to get to the point where you don’t care if you come across perfectly in your messaging. You’re not going to be trying to construct the perfect message or have your emotions going all over the place when things don’t go your way

No more emotional neediness. No more fear. Develop that abundant mindset.

how to text a girl you just met system

Random Factor In Texting Girls

I’ve said texting is an art and that s because it requires you to adapt to each woman on a case by case basis. Each woman is different and you’ll realize this as you collect more numbers.

Was the woman a party girl? A shy introvert girl? Was it a loose interaction? A solid interaction etc.

Realize that the same process of messages won’t work for every girl. Calibrate to the woman and put yourself in her shoes.

If it was a solid interaction and the girl’s open and into you, you could do what most guys do and jump straight for plans. If she’s a introverted shy girl, you want to build a little rapport before asking her out.

How To Text A Girl You Just Met – Friendzone!!!!

I’m going to say this as clear as I can. Text women as if you’re texting a friend.

Don’t worry, you wont end up in the friend zone.

And please don’t be the over sexual perv guy.

You can be Mr sexual attractive hot awesome man when you have her there in person. For now, just play it kool and don’t be overly sexual or super boring.

Text her like your texting your best friend or brother or sister.

How To Text A Girl You Just Met – BONUS TIP

If she doesn’t respond to one of your messages, don’t give up or think that its over. Far from it.

Wait a few days or a week and then try again.

I’ve had a girl not text back to 5 of my messages, only to reply to the 6th message. Eventually got them out on the date and pulled.


Texting Girls – The Goal

Next we need to know the goal of texting this woman.

The goal of texting is simple. You want her out on a date to seduce her. That’s it.

Don’t be the best friend. You want some of that ass

Now, if this was a solid number, this will be fairly straight forward. However, if the initial interaction was loose, you may have to do a bit more work.

Regardless, your end goal is to get her OUT so you can move things forward!

When Should I Text Her?

Part of how to text a girl you just met is knowing when to text the girl.

In my experience, the best time to text girls is during the evening on weekdays, mainly Monday through Thursday and Sunday evening.


Well during the week, she is probably at work, at college and isn’t dedicating a lot of her time to her phone. During the evening, she is most likely at home resting, watching netflix or on her way home from work/outing with friends.

Friday and Saturday is tricky as girls are most likely out with their friends partying.  That’s not to say you can’t text her during these times. If you got a good conversation going, TEXT HER on those days. This is just a general outline of when women are most likely to be free enough to respond.

Use common sense and approach this situation as if you’re texting one of your friends.  Don’t over think things and you’ll be fine.

First Text Message To A Girl

first text message to a girl

Sorry to bore you with mindsets, texting anxiety and so on, but i feel like its an important area to cover in order to reduce flake rates and to help guys avoid making the most common mistakes.

Alright next, the first text message to a girl should be as follows.

Send this to her two hours after meeting her.

“Hey ____ It was really kool meeting you earlier”  (Your name)

That’s it.

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking. “Shouldn’t i play it kool and wait 2 – 3 days. I don’t want to come across needy.”


Send this message TWO HOURS or THE SAME EVENING. Dont wait 2-3 days like most other people tell you.

Don’t try and play it super cool or be the super non needy guy. Let me tell some home truths, this girl is probably dating other men, texting other men and in some cases sleeping with other men. Each day you delay that first message, she’s forgetting you.

If you find this upsetting, then all i have to say is, Sorry homie, this isnt a Disney movie. This is the real world and this is how Sh*t is”

The above first message is a good ice breaker as it does one of two things.

  1. The text doesn’t require her to respond.
  2. It keeps you fresh in her mind

Some texts messages dont require a response and this is one of them. The purpose of this message is just to keep the bond fresh. If she responds, brilliant. If she doesn’t, all good, you’re still in the game. This is just the first step in the texting process.

“But she might think im boring. I want her now.”

Grow a pair, and stop complaining.

You’ll notice i left a blank space after Hey ____” You could use her name here, but even better is if you developed a nick name for her during the initial interaction.

“Hey Snow lady”

“Hey serious looking lawyer girl”

“Hey Super milf”

You get the idea

If you want to play it safe, then just send her name.

Honestly, nicknames help differentiate you from other boring men, so i recommend it.

If you want more first texts, sign up to the newsletter for more mindsets, texts, examples, case studies, videos, etc,  all for free.

What Should I Text Her?

I know this article is mainly about how to text a girl you just met and hopefully the above examples give you a clear guide on what you should be sending. However, what should you text after the first message? Use the following to go further.

I’m a firm believer in texting about common interests, her interests and call back humor. All of these are good to build rapport, build trust and get her out.

Call Back Humor and Interests

During your initial interaction, you should have gathered some information on what she’s into, common interests, her background, etc. if you haven’t, don’t worry, there’s a few topics at the end of this article that we all can relate to.

Regardless, you want to use callback humor as much as possible to keep her interested and to stand out from the other boring men.

The best way to explain this is to look at a personal example and case study.

How To Text A Girl You Just Met – Case Study 1

what to text a girl you just met

This is a girl i met when i attended a conference up in the city. She wasn’t part of the conference, but she caught my eye during my lunch break when i was at the local coffee shop. I noticed she was having a hot chocolate and a pack of marshmallows. This isn’t an odd combination, but it stood out to me. I teased her constantly throughout the interaction about her obsession with marshmallows and even started calling her marshmallow as her nickname. Here’s the first text i sent her that evening

Me “Hey Marshmallow, really kool meeting you eariler. Capucino all the way.”

Her “looool, no way hot chocolate has always been my favorite. i’m going to have one before i go to sleep.”

Now, just a quick note, it’s really good that she responded. However, if she didn’t respond, that’s also fine. This first text was more of a statement and not a message urging her to reply.

If she replies, you can follow up. If she doesn’t, leave it for a day or two and then send another message.

Also worth mentioning is a lot of guys would interpret her telling me that she’s going to sleep as a reason for them to become Mr sexual, smooth, alpha man. Dont do it!

Should I Follow up or leave it?

In this case, I Followed up.

Me “I may have one tomorrow on my lunch break. It’s suddenly bringing up some childhood memories. “

Now can you see how this message is building on the same topic. I haven’t suddenly dropped it and moved on to another subject. If a message still has some gas left in it, continue.

Now, guess what? She didn’t respond. OH NOOOO!!! END OF THE WORLD. IM SUCH A HORRIBLE MAN!!!!!


Like i said before, its perfectly fine.  Don’t get all super emotional or question your self worth. Its fine. She doesn’t have to respond to everything. A lot of guys may give up at this point. Not me!

Should I ask her why she’s not responding or wait?

In this case, I decided to wait

I text her two days later because i was busy with work. I used the following message

Me Sarah, get the Chai Latte drink next time you’re on break. Its Epic.

This time I used her first name, which looking back, i probably should have used the nickname. Still it all worked out fine, so whatever.

Sarah “The receptionist at work keeps getting that drink. I may have to get it. Is it really that good? 🙂 “

Oh, look, she responded. This is why you don’t give up when you dont get a response to your previous message.

Me “I’m gonna be working in the same area towards the end of the week. Let’s grab a Grandi after work, marshmellows included”

Sarah “I can only do Thursday from 5pm. Going away for the weekend. “

Just for the record, she took 8 hours to respond. Remember i said not to get panicky and worried about her not messaging right away?

Me “Thursday should be good. Let’s meet at the same coffee shop and go from there”

Sarah “Kool.”

Day of the date. 

Me “Marshmallow. Still on for this afternoon?”

Sarah “Yeah. I may be running a little late. Should be there by 5.15pm.”

Me “Awesome, No worries.”


You’ll be happy to know we had the hot chocolate and went on to a local bar. Did I pull. Hell yeah I did.

Now remember, according to this article, i did the following.

  • Stayed composed when she didn’t respond.
  • Played it kool and had a friendly vibe.
  • Kept things interesting and to the point.
  • Didn’t become the super over-sexual guy in text……(I did in person though)
  • Notice how all of my messages are causal and value offering.

If you want more case studies like this including what to do when a girl goes completely silent, how to deal with shy women and other random unforeseen obstacles, check out my other text case studies here


How To Text A Girl You Just Met – No Common Interests

texting women

In case you have no common interests with the girl or you didn’t give her a nickname, or it was a quick interaction.  There are a few things you can use to break the ice with her over text.

  • Travel – Almost everyone has traveled to a new country. This topic can strike up a wide range of conversation, such as stories, adventures, favorite places, recommendations, etc.
  • Food – Everyone loves some form of food, especially their national cuisine or specialized dishes
  • Spirituality – Women love this so much, i can’t stress it enough. Read some books on the subject and apply it.
  • Current affairs – This is risky as it could go down a political route which honestly can get ugly. Still, if pulled off correctly, it can work. Focus on pop culture and stay away from politics.

Awesome, Now im going to give you a bunch of texting extras, including case studies, more examples, more practical messages you can use and even seductive messages to jumpstart you. Check out the link below. We’re certain you’ll be impressed.

how to text a girl you just met system


We really hope this helps you out and that you’ll never have to ask the question “how to text a girl you just met?”

We recommend you check out our other articles for more great content. If you stick to our site,  you’ll be a texting and dating god in no time.

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